robbi0408

You ever get those days where nothing goes right? Where everything seems to be going wrong, even the things that you have no control over?...yea, that's me, except multiply that by like, every day.  I do not even have much to say anymore..except...im tired of the sunset, and im looking forward to the sunrise.






In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... you said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you
You said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
You said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain... oh yeah,
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah,
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains

I am sitting in my room.  I am staring at my Christmas Tree, just thinking about what has been going on.  It seems all like a blur to me, that....none of it has happened.  That my life has been a dream that has lasted...a week, a month, a year, a decade?

It's lasted a while.  I don't know when this dream/nightmare started, but it has.  And...i want to deal with it, overcome whatever obstacles lay ahead of me with stride and grace and passion.  With the confidence that I can overcome anything, no matter what has been thrown at me.


But then...i could throw it all away.  everything I have tried so hard to achienve, i can get rid of in a blink of an eye.  All the hard work, the laughter, the smile, the tears, the pain...would all be gone.  I could run away.  Get rid of AIM, get rid of my cell, disappear, change my name...

I won't do that.  I am too scared, and plus, there are a few things around here that are worth keeping around.


But...there are times when I want to throw in the towel...collapse in my bed, cry, and not get out.   That's what I need right now...a good cry.  I need to get a few beers in me, and have a good cry with my friends.  I need to let all the pain go...let all the heartache and the tragedy wash away from my soul...


but...how can i do that when it keeps coming back to me? but...i let it.  i know i shouldn't.  and yesterday, i shouldn't have.  but i did...and where has it gotten me today?  sitting on my comp, complaining about my life, instead of actively trying to change it.



I just...want to crawl into a whole, let the new year pass me by...and....just....forget.







Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.

oh damn it...i typed this entire entry, and it has disappeared!!

that's not fair to me....

it's 3:28am and i can't sleep...again...for the fourth night in a row.  The past three nights, i have used nyquill to help me sleep...this was going to be the first night since sunday that i was going to sleep without any help...but....i don't think so....

everything happens for a reason....people change...hearts get broken...tears get shed...smiles turn upside down...lives are forever changed.

i lost my best friend.....no, he didn't die...even though it feels like he did die...we died...he's gone out of my life...it's been coming for a while, i was just too naive to notice what was going on...

when you meet a guy, you never expect it to end.  You expect a lifetime of smiles, with a few tears along the way.  But...things end...and i don't even want him back as a boyfriend...it's not even possible, because he as a girlfriend now...

I want my best friend back.  The guy who i called when I cried...the guy who called me when things were going great or bad...or we called each other just to make the other one smile.



I know I will meet an amazing guy one day...a guy who will treat me like the most amazing person in the world, and buy me things, and hold me tight every night, and i'll feel safe.


But...why can he be happy...why do i cry...and when will this stop?

um..it's 1:05 am...i dont sleep anymore, i dont know why i bother....im bored, so i felt like writing in here...i just hope my keyboard doesnt wake up me roomie (eek)...

life is...idk...it's there....im not happy, but im not...sad either, if that makes sense...im living life...im going through the motions...except for in my next topic....

blah...there is so much going on...i hate it when that happens...but school is good! I started doing my volunteer work in athletic training...right now im at STAC (St. Thomas Aquinas College) and starting in the next few weeks, i'll be at Ramapo College for a few more hours a week.  I'm so excited! i can not wait until I become a trainer, and maybe a PT or a PA...who knows   =o)   but it makes me happy.  I've never been this goal-career driven before...it's quite scary lol.

Anyways...i want to travel.  I want to see the world.  I was watching the travel chanel over the weekend (at 4am they have some good stuff on) and it just made me wanna jump on a plane and see the world...but, be able to halt time so that i wouldn't miss any college or whatever.  That would be cool.  I wanna see australia, new zealand, italy, france, ireland, england, morocco, egypt, south africa, tahiti, figi, spain, lithuania, greece, sweden, switzerland, the netherlands...oh man, i wanna see the world.  I also want to do all of the Caribean Islands...but hopefully that can be soon!...

ok, now that i've gotten all excited, i'm gonna go lay down in bed and dream of traveling....good night

so...i really can't remember the last time ive been this sad....im doing a great job of hiding it tho...i guess all those years of being depressed have taught me something...

"Lips of an Angel" by Hinder

Honey why you calling me so late
It's kinda hard to talk right now
Honey why you crying is everything okay
I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud
Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And yes I dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No, I don't think she has a clue
Well my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
(And I never wanna say goodbye)
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
Honey why you calling me so late

so, yea, it's been quite a long time since I have written in here. I was soooo busy this summer, in between work and class and...work and class...and swim lessons. That is what my summer revolved around. I passed a&p 1 and 2 though, so my hard work paid off.

blah blah blah...sorry, so much to say, but don't know where to start. Oh, well...my new major is awesome. I'm most likely gonna stick with it, and if i do have to stay an extra year, then Im gonna pursue a minor in government, so I won't leave all my roots behind. It's gonna be alot of work, but it will pay off one day.

My roomie and suitemates are awesome, i really can not complain. From the looks of it, I won't complain for the rest of the year...but who knows.

Most other aspects of my life are going ok also...i can't really say much...

Since I can't find more words to type down, im gonna post these lyrics to a song Ive been listening too...it's really good, and really sad...but...i can relate...so, im posting them just because they are good lyrics...that's all.

Enjoy =o) 





"Lips of an Angel" by Hinder

Honey why are you calling me so late
It's kinda hard to talk right now
Honey why are you crying is everything okay
I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud
Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And yes I've dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don't think she has a clue
Well my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

**im a loser with no life, so i have seen alot of these....lol**


Supposedly if you've seen over 105 movies, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 176 movies on this list. Put your score in header and repost.

(X ) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(X) Grease
(X) Pirates of the Caribbean
(X) Boondock Saints
(X ) Fight Club
(X) Starsky and Hutch
(X) Neverending Story
(X) Blazing Saddles
(X) Airplane!
Total: 9

(X) The Princess Bride
(X) AnchorMan
(X) Napoleon Dynamite
() Labyrinth
(X) Saw
( ) Saw II
(X) White Noise
(X) White Oleander
(X) Anger Management
(X) 50 First Dates
(X) The Princess Diaries
(X) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total: 10

(X) Scream
(X) Scream 2
(X) Scream 3
(X) Scary Movie
(X) Scary Movie 2
(X) Scary Movie 3
(X) Scary Movie 4
(X) American Pie
(X) American Pie 2
(X) American Wedding
(X) American Pie Band Camp
Total: 11

(X) Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone
(X) Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
(X) Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
(X) Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
() Resident Evil I
() Resident Evil 2
(X) The Wedding Singer
(X) Little Black Book
(X) The Village
(X) Lilo & Stitch
Total: 8

(X) Finding Nemo
(X) Finding Neverland
(X) Signs
(X) The Grinch
(X) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
(X) White Chicks
(X) Butterfly Effect
(X) 13 Going on 30
(X) I, Robot
(X) Robots
Total: 10

(X) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
(X) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came Polly
(X) Deep Impact
(X) KingPin
(X) Never Been Kissed
(X) Meet The Parents
(X) Meet the Fockers
(X) Eight Crazy Nights
(X) Joe Dirt
( ) KING KONG
Total: 9

(X) A Cinderella Story
(X) The Terminal
(X) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
(X) Passport to Paris
(X) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
(X) Final Destination
(X) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
(X) Halloween
(X) The Ring
(X) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
(X) Flubber
Total: 11

(X) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(X) Practical Magic
(X) Chicago
(X) Ghost Ship
(X) From Hell
() Hellboy
(X) Secret Window
(X) I Am Sam
(X) The Whole Nine Yards
Total: 8

(X) The Day After Tomorrow
(X) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
(X) Ten Things I Hate About You
(X) Just Married
(X) Gothika
(X) Nightmare on Elm Street
(X) Sixteen Candles
(X) Remember the Titans
(X) Coach Carter
(X) The Grudge
(X) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
Total: 11

(X) Bad Boys 2
(X) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Sleven
(X) Ocean's Eleven
(X) Ocean's Twelve
( ) Identity
( ) Lone Star
(X) Bedazzled
(X) Predator I
( ) Predator II
(X) The Fog
(X) Ice Age
(X) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
Total: 8

(X) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
() Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(X) ET
(X) Children of the Corn
(X) My Boss' Daughter
(X) Maid in Manhattan
( ) Frailty
(X) War of the Worlds
(X) Rush Hour
(X) Rush Hour 2
Total: 8

( ) Best Bet
(X) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(X) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
(X) Sideways
(X) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
(X) Ever After
(X) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
(X) The Terminator
(X) T2
(X) Terminator 3
Total: 9

(X) X-Men
(X) X2
(X) X3
(X) Spider-Man
(X) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
(X) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(X) Catch Me If You Can
(X) The Others
(X) Freaky Friday
(X) Reign of Fire
(X) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
(X) The Hot Chick
(X) Shrek
(X) Shrek 2
Total: 14

(X) Swimfan
(X) Miracle
(X) Old School
(X) The Notebook
() K-Pax
(X) Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(X) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(X) Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(X) A Walk to Remember
( ) Boogeyman
(X) The 40-year-old-virgin
(X) Rent
(X) Road to Perdition
() Team America : World Police
(X) Passion of the Christ
Total: 12

( ) Munich
( ) The Ringer
(X) The Da Vinci Code
( ) Poseidon
(X) Garden State
(X) One Flew Over the Cukoo's Nest
(X) The Big Lebowski
(X) Full Metal Jacket
( ) Bench Warmers
(X) Almost Famous
(X) Half Baked
(X) Super Troopers
(X) Saving Private Ryan
Total: 9

This, in my opinion, are the best lines of any movie...ever...and u can disagree with me all you want, but these next few lines are just priceless...and entire movie...and entire romance...summed up into a few lines...enjoy these lines from Casablanca =o)




Rick: Last night we said a great many things. You said I was to do the thinking for both of us. Well, I've done a lot of it since then, and it all adds up to one thing: you're getting on that plane with Victor where you belong.

Ilsa: But, Richard, no, I... I...

Rick:Now, you've got to listen to me! You have any idea what you'd have to look forward to if you stayed here? Nine chances out of ten, we'd both wind up in a concentration camp. Isn't that true, Louie?

Captain Renault: I'm afraid Major Strasser would insist.

Ilsa: You're saying this only to make me go.

Rick:I'm saying it because it's true. Inside of us, we both know you belong with Victor. You're part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.

Ilsa: But what about us?

Rick: We'll always have Paris. We didn't have, we, we lost it until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night.

Ilsa: When I said I would never leave you.

Rick: And you never will. But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Now, now... Here's looking at you kid.

So, its Memorial Day weekend. School is over, finals are done, I'm kinda working...all my friends are home...this all makes me happy. But...it can last for three more days, because on Tuesday, I start Anatomy and Physiology I and II...May 30th to August 8th...with only one week off- the week of July 4th...

so yea, that puts a HUGE damper on my summer...but, i think i can survive, i hope.

Other then that, nothing is going on with my summer. Nothing new has happened, so it's been boring. I have no fun life to talk about...so, if you are reading this, don't expect anything fun...i think?

My bro left for Disney World today..i want to go..the last time I went was with Tori a few years ago. I wanna go back.

OOO..i get to go to the shore today to see my roomie, Ashley!! woohoo..that will be fun. I'm excited. And later in July, I am going up North to see Amanda and Heidi, which will also be fun.

Ok, I have run out of things to talk about...so here are the lyrics to a great summer song:

"Summertime" by Kenny Chesney


Summertime is finally here
That old ballpark, man, is back in gear
Out on 49
Man I can see the lights

School's out and the nights roll in
Man, just like a long lost friend
You ain't seen in a while
And can't help but smile

And it's two bare feet on the dashboard
Young love and an old Ford
Cheap shades and a tattoo
And a Yoo-Hoo bottle on the floorboard

Perfect song on the radio
Sing along 'cause it's one we know
It's a smile, it's a kiss
It's a sip of wine, it's summertime
Sweet summertime

The more things change
The more they stay the same
Don't matter how old you are
When you know what I'm talkin' 'bout
Yeah baby when you got

As of 2pm tomorrow, my finals are over!!! and then i am going home for the summer...thank god.

Too much has happened this week that makes me really happy im going home. of course i am going to miss the people here, but..i get to go home, and see friends and family..

i realized though, who my true friends were this week, and it has made me so happy. yay!!

24 hours from now ill be in my own bed, cozy and comfy.. woohoo and then im a junior!!! thats so scary.

ok, i should finish studying...




...or by studying i mean playing games on my comp lol.